"Gassed? My father told me they took him to a farm. " - Tony Soprano

"That's what they always say. That same farm must have about 17 billion dogs on it. Dog shit to the rafters. " - Bobby Bacala

"Five hours they let me out for these funerals. I gotta spend it bein maudlin? " - Uncle Junior

"She was a handsome woman, your mother. Not sexy, exactly, but statuesque." - Fran Felstein to Tony Soprano

"Hi, my name is JT, I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I'm also a TV writer, which by default makes me a douchebag. " - JT

"I seen Dick Wolfe at Rao's one night. Guy had his own limo. " - Christopher Moltisanti

"With that 'Law & Order' money? Guy could have his own battleship. " - JT

"I did not want to fuck my mother! You should have seen her in that house dress with that hairnet. The conversation would be over in two seconds." - Tony

"It's one for the road, honey. And this looks like road to me. " - Fran, offering Tony a snort

"Not too busy to call me at 2 am to hear your problems. " - Hesh

"One time, that happened! My therapist was on vacation. " - Tony

"Philly, he's a boss. " - Johnny Sack

"Jersey? Come on. " - Phil Leotardo