"I'm happy to do it. It's just that 40 minutes I spend at Rite Aids getting some stool softener that was on sale. " - Bobby Bacala, on taking care of Junior

"What I was thinking was a tri-umber-thing. Like Caesar." - Tony

"What did I ever do to this guy?" - Sal

"They release these fucks from the can. Obviously, he wasn't reabullated." - Paulie Walnuts

"What's this, the fucking U.N. now?" - Johnny Sack

"Free spirit Janice! Rebel without a cause! While I sit here mired in her bullshit, trying to be a good son, while you're off dropping acid and blowing roadies! " - Tony

"Roadies? " - Bobby Bacala

"Oh, you don't want to know!" - Tony

"To tell you the truth, me and my uncle don't talk much anymore. " - Tony

"I'm sorry to hear that." - Doctor

"Don't be, he's a hostile prick. " - Tony

"You want more responsibility? Start by controlling your wife." - Tony to Bobby Bacala